On Reading Trans-Related News Comments

I don’t know why I do it. It’s like slowing on the freeway to catch sight of something I’d rather not really see but still look. Funny thing is, I stopped looking years ago, preferring to leave the accident without another witness and, yet, I still scroll south of articles such as this one, even though I was warned by the nice lady who linked to it that the comments were especially cruel. I imagine some of you will follow the link and scroll down to see the wreck, just as I did.

And I know…we know what we’ll find there. The same horror show of transmisia and ignorance that always populates the comments from the most liberal of sites to the conservative. On the liberal sites, they often try to dress up their bad behavior in niceties, but erasure is erasure. Insults are insults. Cruelty is.

It’s a simple thing to write a nasty note on the net and the nastiness is certainly not limited to trans-related stories. I wont say I’ve never done it. That being said, in my adult life, if I have been nasty, I’ve felt it justified or provoked and it makes me wonder if these people who have no problem writing just the very worst things about trans people and knowing they are writing the very worst things feel provoked by our existence, that the fact that I am, that I live is an affront to them deserving of the kind of bile they post and if they would have the courage to say such things to my face if given the opportunity. How deep does their hate run? Does it only extend to a few quick words and a tap on the send key?

No good answers in any case.

 

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Addressing Complaints About Dilating

Occasionally I read someone who complains about dilating – sees it as a chore, hates the mess of lubricant, finds it uncomfortable/painful or bemoans the lack of time spent doing it because it can be time consuming in the beginning. What, McGinn requires five times a day, right? Brassard only asked me for four at first.

And I wonder…

Were they not aware that they would have to dilate before their surgery?

Did they not read about it before hand?

Would they rather things were as they were before (given that they did not have to dilate before)? 

Because here’s the thing.  It hurts sometimes and it is messy sometimes and it is a chore sometimes and it has been inconvenient on occasion (I’ve maybe missed two dilations in the past year). This is all true.

But.

I’m damned grateful I can do it.